This shifting desire has left me with a surplus I don’t know what to do with. Don’t want it, can’t hardly get rid of it. Maybe I should just drink it all down and walk away. I yawn. Another time, perhaps. – The band comes in hanging low, a somber procession of floor-gazing children who know they fucked up. It’s an unpleasant sight. I remember what Kennedy said, and I know that the sympathy they feel right now is the only reason we’re even here, but I’m not about to purger myself and invoke my grandfather’s name for the sake of a fucking recording session. It’s a promise I make. ‘Go get setup,’ I tell them immediately, preempting any discussion on the matter. ‘I have a few ideas I want to try out, and we’ve only got about five days left to us.’ Teddy studies my face. ‘Yeah. Sure. Listen, Jake-‘ ‘Just go, Teddy. I need for us to move fast. I haven’t had my head in the game for a while now. But it wasn’t about family, or dying, or any of that. Truth is, I wanted to think it was about. And his thigh looked delicious! I looked back up into his eyes and he was smiling at me. When the light turned green, he pulled ahead rather quick. I knew there was only one light left in town and I figured I would lose sight of him then. I kept up speed and the next light was green. He went through it and I thought, "Damn!"! The next thing I knew, I was beside him again and when I looked in, he had pulled his shorts leg to one side and his penis was laying on the seat. It looked very inviting, laying there, a few veins sticking out and a very nice head. As I watched him, leaving town, he reached down and picked it up. It was semi soft, but had to be 7 or 8 inches long. I turned on my dome light and looked over at him and nodded. He smiled and pulled ahead of me and came into my lane. His turn signal cam on to turn right on a side street where quite a few parking lots are. I signaled and turned and followed him into a lot. It was dark with a few security lights at the other end. I.
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