Now I’m thinking about making it ‘full time’ employment!We all grow old in the end... I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.The biggest lie I tell myself is...”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet... Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.At my age. I have always slept in the nude,and it is a family joke,no big deal.On halloween,Elaine had gone for a weekend away on a hens to Cork,and left me babysitting.Tom often came over on the Friday night with a 6 pack of Bulmers cider and stayed over.Elaine and I usually had a bottle of wine between us.Course with Elaine away,I wasn't expecting Tom to turn up,but he did,with a whole tray of cider,which he said was on special.The baby was fast asleep when i got to the end of the wine,which was already double what I would drink as Elaine usually had half.So I helped myself to a few cans off cider.Now there wasn't any flirting or anything going on,never was.I'm straight.Totally.....Anyway,3 in the morning and I'm pissed and I tell Tom,time for bed,and I go in to the bedroom,strip naked,and crawl into bed,leaving Tom to finish off his beer.Some time later,I have no idea how much later,I feel Tom snuggling behind me,obviously naked,and obviously hard.He must have been gently rubbing his cock on.
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