No. I need to figure this out. I need to figure out how this happened.What happened. That voice on the phone. Who is that man? Why am I here?I can't be here. I am here.Calm. I needed to calm myself. I need Jen's help. I think. I'm notsure. That dream, last night. I've become a hand in a glove. Twodistinct parts, my hand and my body. But they fit. Like a glove. Its noeffort to feel myself here in this body, to sit here. Its all just somystical but it responds, naturally, effortlessly. I pick up anothercigarette and take it to my lips. I light it with her lighter, pulling,enhaling. I watch the smoke swirl and billow as I exhale. Holding thecigarette in my lips, I pull my hair back, arching my back, stretching,exhaling a cloud from my nostrils. The nicotine helps. Focus. Focus. I get up. Tonight is important. I know that. We need to bethere. Both of us. Jen and I. I walk around the apartment. Openingdrawers helps. Looking into cupboards, tiptoeing to. Fucking is not the happiness but it helps to make us happy. I am for one year continuously fucking with my husband but I am not mentally happy and I have also not conceived any baby during this period and when asked to the doctor he said you must be happy to conceive a child.Now the conditions of my family members are worse also. Actually all my brothers and BILs are part of my dad’s business and as my dad died suddenly in a heart attack at the age of 50 Yrs. Our family business also drying up making huge loss but in spite of all these factors all my sisters and brothers living in a joint family except me. More over my youngest brother met with a motor bike accident and lost his erection of manhood. None of the family members are able to conceive any child like me and they decided to go to their Gurudev at Rishikesh.My story is always a sex fiction so the reality is a rare thing. My mom after the death of my father was a widow but her beautiful figure misunderstood at the age of 43Yr..
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