Chapter 14. Now what?1 February 2010I managed to get through that day, but barely. The next day the police brought my car home and asked to talk to me. They asked me about the incident and I took them through it as I remembered it. I didn’t tell them about the Afghanistan flashback or the dream. No fucking way. They said it would be awhile before I got my weapon back. They were very apologetic while staring at me as if there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t that they seemed suspicious, but it was as if they were looking at someone who worked for the circus, the bearded lady or some other such freak. It made me realize that in this area and that town none of them had probably ever shot and killed someone. I wondered if any of them had even drawn their weapon while on duty.I had intermittent bursts of emotion for the next few days and my sleep was interrupted by any sound at all. The slightest thing could make me angry and a sappy commercial could make me break down and cry. In. She wasn't different; it was just what people saw when they looked at her that changed. Was the camera really making Rochelle more beautiful, or just seeing something different that was still there?My movement in the mirror caught my eye. I looked up at my reflection. My shrink kept saying I wasn't as ugly as I thought I was. Tamara kept saying the same thing too. Even Angie hadn't seen me as ugly. I stared at the mirror. Were they seeing something different than I did? Different but still there?My eyes were still uneven and my ears lopsided. They didn't change regardless of how I turned my head. My nose was still a mess, though maybe the lumps on my skull weren't really as big as I thought. The scars on my chest still ran zigzag, creating an unsolved puzzle or maze across my skin. I was barefoot so my stance was lopsided, without the correction for leg length difference in my shoes. My arms still looked strange when I raised my hands and the length difference became apparent. No.
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