She knew how to fix everyone else, but maybe not herself. And she had her own yearning and desires. And in the briefest of seconds, in the time it takes for a page to turn, and rain to fall, she was naked. She wasn't Liz his psychologist. She was pretty Liz. She was a woman with dreams and hopes. And then it was gone. And she was composed. And back."See how easy that was Ray. You asked a question and I answered. Now I ask the question. You answer." I don't know how to say 'I don't know' without being mad at myself," Ray ground out."You don't know what you are planning to do?" Liz asked"No I don't." That's fair. This is not a decision to make lightly. Tell me what you are thinking and feeling as you ponder this." Everything is at war. I want her; I hate myself for wanting her. I think about her. I hate myself for thinking about her. I hide from her. I hate myself for hiding from her. Do you see a pattern?" Ray joked sarcastically."It sounds like you still have these strong unresolved. She said, “The first time you held Lisa in your hands, you had this look of absolute terror on your face as if she was some sort of monster that was going to eat you. I’ll never forget the look of relief when I took her out of your hands. That same look of terror came over you every time you held her.”Stunned, Jack didn’t know what to say. He backed over to his chair and sat down. Unable to look at his wife, he said, “I remember the day she was born. The nurse put Lisa in my hands and I looked down upon that fragile little being. She was so small. She had perfect little hands complete with little fingernails. I couldn’t believe it. I looked at her thinking that this is my daughter.“I had never held a baby before. I kept thinking that I was holding an incredibly fragile and precious treasure. I was afraid to move. I was afraid that she would wiggle and fall from my clumsy hands. I felt big, clumsy, and ugly compared to that perfect little being. You’re right, I was terrified. I was.
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