.we're all emotional. If you did that with them,you'd be in deep trouble. Whatever goes on outside can't come inside.Do you understand that?" I guess," she said with upspeak again."Don't guess. Know. Be more confident. If you want to litigate, beconfident. Say 'I know.'" I smiled, hoping that would show her that Iwas her friend."I know," she said with a smile."Good. I'm here to teach you. Help me do that." OK," she said. "You seem different today. Is everything OK?" Sure,if you don't count waking up again with breasts and no penis."Everything's fine. I just thought about yesterday and wanted to clearthe air. Because Mike wouldn't. He'd just wait until your review,"which was true, especially when it came to female associates. He wasn'ta bad guy just afraid of getting sued for discrimination."Thanks." Also, one more thing. Try to work on upspeak." Upspeak?" Saying sentences like they're questions." Do I do that?" she said nervously."Lots of women do. My sister does. It. Of course I balked at her notion, the words forming even as I began to express them, but she held her fingers up to my lips effectively shushing me. "You promised," she said, and with that, took her very last breath and passed from this life into the next. Even as the alarm on her monitor sounded, I continued to hold her, oblivious to the sound it was making. Her final words still ringing in my ears as I sat there."Don't live alone ... promise me."After everyone had left, friends and relatives I hadn't seen in years, I continued to stand there as they lowered my wife's casket into the cold hard ground. The kids as always standing by my side, finally pulling me away though my head stayed behind even though my body followed. I remember eating something later, without tasting it. I remember hushed whispers outside my room as they quietly left leaving me to sleep, though I remained wide awake for most of the night. All I wanted to do was follow after my wife, crazy thoughts whirling.
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