She sat down across from me and said:“I can’t believe I didn’t know who you were yesterday.”“No reason you should have.”“I got out my year books when I got home yesterday. Eight years; four in high school and four in college and I didn’t know you? How could that have been?”“Our high school class had 247 kids in it and there were different groups and cliques. We just hung with different people. In college there were ten times as many people. We only had two shared classes in our freshman year and only one in our junior year. Not surprising that you didn’t remember me.”“But you can remember me so I should be able to remember you.”I smiled as I thought “I doubt you ever masturbated to thoughts of me so why would you remember me? You on the other hand fed many of my masturbatory fantasies” and then I said:“A subject for another time, but right now we need to get on the problem of your missing husband. I’m going to ask you some very personal questions and while you may be reluctant to. “So, you’re still sleeping in the guest-room?”I nodded and took a bite of the steak. I wasn’t thrilled with it. It was overcooked and was getting cold, but it gave me something to focus on.“That bed is the only one we ever shared. When I laid down to sleep, that was the place I felt closest to you.”She leaned against me, hugging my arm.“I’m so sorry I left, and sorrier that I was too stupid to explain why. Like I said in the letter, I was a grieving widow half the time and a scared girl the rest. My life has been full of bad decisions and I was scared out of my mind that you were another bad decision and terrified you were a good one and I was gonna screw it up. My sister stole the first boy I had a crush on. I let Stan sweep me off my feet - and then you came along. I was scared that I was making another mistake.”“You were so good, and I was such a fuck-up that I couldn’t figure out whether I’d finally lucked-out or paid my dues or whatever. I was scared that you were gonna end up.
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