”John had no response, he looked up at the huge Christmas tree, lost in his own thoughts. He did, however, feel the need to say something.“It’s one hell of a tree. I think you’d have to see it at night to really appreciate it though.”He turned and looked at Carol. The chameleon quality of her face constantly amazed him. At times she looked young and vibrant, other times, like now, she appeared older, tired, and frayed.“Yes, I suppose so.” Then she hesitated, “John, why are you really here? You didn’t come all this way to watch people ice skate, now did you?”“Sure I did, but I also came to see you. You know that, so there’s no reason to play these kid’s games. The way things ended last summer, that was God awful, I couldn’t let it go like that. Not a day’s gone by that I haven’t thought about you.”“It was terrible,” she agreed.“I had to come back, I had no choice in the matter. I had to see you and talk with you one last time. You have to understand, even if we’re no longer a couple, I. Thompson ended the call. I sighed and headed for the water cooler. Then, it was back to my desk in short order, as I once again dove headlong into the duties of my job.That was my life these days – pushing aside the pain of losing my beloved spouse by throwing myself into my work. Every day was the same; it was one foot in front of the other, over and over again. I was going through life on autopilot. Make no mistake about it, I was able to function surprisingly well under those conditions, even going so far as to excel at my job on occasion. I'd actually been named Agent of the Month in October. However, I gained no personal satisfaction from the award; my work was merely a means of avoidance, of suppression.They say the process of acceptance following the death of a loved one passes through several stages. I'd slowly transitioned from crippling depression at the outset to a brief period of bitterness and anger. I found myself asking, over and over, What had been the point of my.
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