You need to find out why. You can't blame Trish or Jenny, or Clare or Viv any more. This is inside you."Get real and start realising who loves you, worships you, longs for you every hour of every day. What I did at the door was what any wife would do for her husband when he got horny watching porn, and don't say we're not married, you know damn well we are, even if the government doesn't think so."I'm sorry! It was a mistake, it was a joke. OK? Fuck, Allan, what do I have to do?"And she rang off.I sat down heavily. All my anger had dissipated. Once again that anger had risen in me. Once again I had gone off at the deep end and if I did it much more it would drown what relationship we had. Now I recalled the photo's and the videos. All that love. Was that why I got so angry? That it had all been taken away, ruined? What did she say?'This is inside you. I did what any wife would do. What do I have to do?'She was right. I recognised suddenly how much she was trying to win me back. How. This only added to her guilt and made her confession that much more difficult. Just when she thought she had worked up the nerve he smiled and suggested, "How about some after dinner wine?"Again she faltered, choosing to acquiesce instead of blurting out what she knew she must eventually tell him. They shared the wine, both mellowing a bit."I know," he said playfully with a gleam in his eye, "why don't we play like you did go with me and we're alone in a motel room?" Brad, I don't..." Oh, come on," he chided, "Go put on something sexy and let's go to bed." Brad, I don't think..." Why not?" he asked. "After all we have the house to ourselves and I haven't seen you in something revealing in a long time." I really don't feel..." Come on Sondra! Let your hair down and let's enjoy each other." But there's something I must tell you!" Then tell me in bed. Go put on that black negligee that I got you and meet me in the bedroom." I don't think that..." Come on Sondra! Lord knows you say I.
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