I'm 21 years old, a junior in College, 5'11, Puerto Rican, and according to the majority of the girls I have tried to approach, I am what they call a nerd. I spend my Friday and Saturday nights reading great novels. I rush to my dorm daily to get a head start on studying. I have never even kissed a girl.When each girl I tried to approach shot me down, I would get more and more isolated. I wouldn't even look girls in the eyes because I was too ashamed. I engraved into my brain that I am a nerd and no girl would ever want me- I would die alone. I dreamt of what it would be like to have a woman of my own. How I would love her unconditionally, shower her in her favorite treats and things. How I would look into her eyes and tell her I love her. And in my dream, she returned my love just as fiercely. I desired this feeling, and I was going to stop at nothing to get it.I called my only female friend, Tammy, and asked her to do me a huge favor.We were sitting in her bedroom, me on a chair,. As these sneaky adventures grew bolder, I enquired “what changed from that day?”She giggled looking at me as if I’m the most clueless boy in the world and responded, “see Varun, I have always liked you. You are smart and cute. But girls like to be adored, caressed and treasure with love, not some cheap display of lust. Got it now silly?” and she kissed on my cheek before running away. I chased her fooling others at home that it’s just a silly play.Before we could go any further the summer came to an end and the schools reopened. The summer finished. Monsoon came and went. In the month of November came the invitation from her home, inviting us all to “Anamika’s” coming of age(maturity? I don’t know the exact English word for it) ceremony… To celebrate the adolescent turning into a young woman. One of my cousins even teased me with “yo varun your sali became a woman dude.” I was dumb struck at that comment, but boy was I glad to know that she didn’t know anything and just teasing me. I.
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