I am wet down there, in anticipation of him and his evil. I cannot control it with my mind. My body’s needs are its own and I am its prisoner. For twenty one years I have lived with these desires, succumbing to some, defeating many others. The battle is constant. All because of him. My hate for him boils over. My lust does too. My brain and my body are mortal enemies. My brain wins most battles, but loses every battle when it is with him. How can it be, when my mind knows best? I recall with rage, the feelings I’ve had over those years: Endorphins firing, nerves on fire, orgasms exploding. Now, kink is my god. He has made it so. How I hate him for it. How I love him for it. But I never know when he will be back. 91 is the most dialed number on my phone. Never 911. I always stop shy of the last digit. I have no control, when he is near. My body is his. He owns it. Even with my mind as his enemy and potential assassin, I am always his in the end. And I always love it. No sounds. My attraction to his genitals could border on an Oedipus complex, in which I am in some sense, in love with the baby I created, in love with my own creation, and his large penis was created in my desirous stage, I willed it, during my pregnancy, and delighted in it, when the nurses present delivered him with much emphasis on his cock size, they too were immediately attracted to him, and gave him more love that other babies of normal genitalia.I suckled him on my swollen teat, and held him between my fingers, and as he developed more, allowed others to bath him, so they too could marvel at his size.My daughter, his elder by eight years, from my first marriage, was charged with his well-being, and looking after him.I would watch as they bathed together, through the hinged aperture in the door, I wanted to see as she soaped him how how he would react, and the joy I felt when he did one time, so I left the c***dren to enjoy their frolicking.She entered her mid teens and still insisted to.
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