” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ “Can you read this?” the optician asked. “Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some. There was time, waiting for the group ahead of them, for Tess' group to visit the nearby bathroom facility at six. I silently handed her the green shirt and said, "throw away the other one. But keep the bra! Don't even consider going without the bra!"When she returned, the green shirt was dry and fresh-looking.Except for the clear, already-wet outline of Tess' bodacious boobies -- imprinted, from the inside, by the soaking-wet bra she still dutifully wore.OK, so that wasn't so good, but I was still confident that going braless would have been an even greater disaster.Tess' two-tone green shirt wasn't as revealing as the earlier, all-tan, all-wet skin-tone version, but it was interesting enough that the males in the gallery didn't go elsewhere. By the ninth hole, the new shirt was as soaked through as the old one had been. Still, at least it was green.We found out at the tenth hole that Tess (now at five under for the tournament) was one shot behind the current leader, Pat Hurst. Hurst.
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