I suggested a field trip and everyone packed up to go look at the house. I decided to let them brainstorm a little more and not go with them. Instead, I headed back home to my studio. There was something nagging at the back of my mind.The sketches were laid out in front of me all over the studio. My laptop was playing a slide show of my paintings as I sat back and just looked at what I'd been doing. I hadn't realized what was happening to my work until the past two months when I'd done two paintings that stood out from the rest. My work, all technically good, had become ... I couldn't think of any word but "commercial" to describe what I was doing.I'm not ashamed of that. Some of the great artists over the centuries had supplemented their work with portraiture, graphics, and even decorating. But my work had evolved to a point where it wasn't really worth anything else. I painted nice, sexy portraits of nude women to give to their husbands or boyfriends, or to hang in their. As a result, they tended to look out for me as well, whetherrunning interference when needed from an over inquisitive stranger, orpulling me aside when my hair or makeup needed a quick tweaking of somesort.In the meantime, my instinct for such feminine needs, as well as myconfidence, became greater by the day. One evening in particular, aftergrabbing my purse from the hostess room, I was riding the elevator downto the first floor alone when I caught my full-length reflection in theelevator doors and realized that I had functioned in a blouse, skirt,hose and heels (not to mention my French-tipped nails, my waxedeyebrows, and earrings) for the past several hours without even thinkingabout it.I had been shaving my legs smooth for quite some time now, and itfinally seemed normal for them to not have any hair on them. Indeed,the uniform skirt suit and high-necked blouse that I'd admired on Lisaso often were now my everyday wear as well, and while the other girlsoccasionally complained.
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