I know you won’t do it when I’m somewhere else and I need to know how much you love me.’ It was the last time-our last time—almost a month ago. ‘It was wonderful, just like every other time, but when we finished I could see that she was gone again. I began looking that very afternoon, checking online and the yellow pages. I phoned the hospital, Dr. Thompson was on duty and was kind enough to speak with me for almost fifteen minutes. He phoned back about an hour later with several suggestions, all in our area. ‘I dressed Lizzie Sunday morning and we went to visit, skipping church for the first time in years. They were all decent, but one stood out. Lizzie would have her own room and she’d have an electronic monitor on her wrist that would tell the staff her condition and location 24/7. She couldn’t go outside without an alarm sounding. The room was fairly large, bright and airy, with its own bathroom, a small closet, and a dresser. ‘We ate with the residents and the food was pretty. Also, it seemed to symbolize his new depressed attitude and therefore, her inability to lift him out of his doldrums. She’d scoured her cookbooks for recipes that were low in sodium and cholesterol yet looked like they would appetizing. She settled on one for boiled chicken and broccoli simmered in an olive oil vinaigrette that looked decent.She watched as he picked listlessly at his meal; he ate it, but without his former gusto. He even complemented her on it, but it wasn’t the same old Palmer. After they ate they went into the living room and sat on the sofa to watch television. He stared blankly at the screen. If she said anything to him, he would perk up briefly, respond pleasantly, then drift back into his own world. It was almost like he’d developed attention deficit disorder. Ellen began to feel like she was failing him and it broke her heart.She began to wonder if she could do anything right: she’d had an affair with a younger man and gotten pregnant, strike one, once.
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