Some of the other kids weren't, but Pete was very gentle, and never seemed to get angry at anyone.I stayed in that room for days, eating very little and seeing no one but Ron's mom. I think it must have been the fourth day that she rushed in without even knocking."Look, Jan, you have a letter! It just came."She handed it to me and patted my arm. "I'm sure things will be much better, now. You'll see. But right now I'll leave you alone so you can read your letter."She was wrong. The letter didn't make things better. If anything it made them worse. I could hear Ron talking through the words on the paper, but I couldn't see him. I couldn't touch him; I couldn't have him. I couldn't even write him, because he said they were just keeping him at Fort Ord for a few days, and then they would be sending him somewhere else, he didn't know where.The letters started coming nearly every day, but there wasn't much he could say, just that he loved me and he missed me. Every one of them started me. I was in so much pain the last time I was there I showed my ass a bit more than I should. At one point, I was an absolute dick. The funny thing was I was trying to be nice at the time. I didn’t see until my mind cleared a week or so later how I had treated her. She was gracious about it.They changed my med ratio which sent me to a small visit to la-la land. They decreased one med to help me start sweating and doubled another one to help me rest more. I haven’t started sweating yet, but I’m sleeping better. After I came back from la-la land that is. They also want me to start working with a speech therapist they had mentioned that before but I hadn’t followed up as 1. It doesn’t make sense to me. I know how to place my tongue and shape my lips. I can’t get my brain to send the damn signal. 2. I only have so much money to put toward co-pays and meds. 3. I only have one day a week to fit in my, my wifes and my kids, various appointments. I would like to enjoy some of my days off. I told.
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