I thought maybe you could talk to her ... make her feel better ... maybe tell her you're not mad or something ... you know ... about Europe." Joe, I can't tell her I'm not mad, because I am. I'm fucking furious at her. Do you know what it felt like, when I was in that courtroom on trial, and my defense attorney told me what Tiff told the police, that the pot she bought was all mine and that she didn't know about it? That she lied to ditch me? Do you have any idea how that felt? Because of what Tiff told them, they were gonna hit me with a 20-year sentence, and it was Spokesman Dukov who talked them out of it. No, Joe ... I'm mad, and Tiff's gonna know it. But ... then ... I guess I'll try to talk to her, and I suppose maybe I can do something for her."Joe was a bit stunned at Kim's last statement. "20 years? For what?" For dealing. The Danubians don't like drugs. You want to piss-off their government, the best way to do it is have drugs on you. I had a full pound of pot on me, and. I had learned that from Doctor Mercer when she helped me with my grief and despair over Birgit. I had, long ago, considered the value of being an emotionally restrained Mr. Spock, but Jennifer had steered me away from that.Having no emotions was a possible response, but probably a bad one. Bottling it all up inside would no doubt lead to the same end that Melanie had thought was the only way out. I wore my emotions on my sleeve for all to see, even if I didn’t always explain them. It was that outlet that had probably kept me from even thinking about wanting to die like Melanie. This was a revelation, and it helped explain my need for emotional support and close friends. Without them, I would be lost.For that brief period, when I was adrift without Jennifer or Melanie, I still had Stephanie, Bethany, and Joyce. Without them, well, I could now understand why Melanie had gone off in the car and crashed it. She’d thought she had nobody left who cared for her. Jennifer, Pete, and I had.
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