"Normally, a slap like that would sting. But this has the opposite affect. It softens the pain." Funny how that works, isn't it?" Tanya said. We loped into an easy chat as she removed parallel rows of hair from first one lower leg, then the other, as if I were a lawn and she the mower. Tanya and I had the classic salon relationship. We met monthly, assumed the familiar position, then chatted like old friends about work, family, lovers. Then I forgot about her until the hair on my legs grew visible and it was time for another appointment. Even in the busy summer months, she squeezed me in before I felt desperate enough to take a tweezers to my follicles myself. And I always tipped very well."Bend your knees and spread your legs a little," Tanya said. I complied. She focused on the curvy area around the joint, painfully close to bone and difficult to maneuver. With her head so close to my midsection and the lamp warming the air molecules above her, I inhaled the patchouli she must have. He picked up a chair and put it in front of the desk. As he sat behind the desk, he made a pointing gesture to the other chair, encouraging me to sit there. As I walked over, he was staring at me, like he was sizing me up. As I sat down, he shook his head and gave a short chuckle, as if to say I can’t believe this is the no good Yankee who’s fucking with my universe. I started. ‘Is it just me in detention today?’ ‘This isn’t regular detention. This is your detention. Now let me ask you something? How was your day? Was it rough?’ ‘It was good.’ I lied. ‘Oh, really, huh.’ He paused. ‘I want you to know I pulled your transcripts. 3.94 GPA, not bad, that A- in honors calculus cost you that 4.0 though. Yeah, I also talked to a Mr. Cambridge up there. Does that name ring a bell, Yankee?’ ‘He’s the computer lab director at my former school.’ ‘Yeah, he seemed to like you a great deal. Told me you were always helping your teachers with various projects. Even on weekends if need be. You also.
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