But as I walked on the gravel path toward Lexi's final resting place, I was a lot calmer than I'd been nearly a year ago. I was ... more mature? I don't know. I didn't feel bottled up. My rage—my anger—that I'd felt for four years was still there, but it was not quite at the surface now. And I don't mean I'd buried it. I was in touch with it. When I woke up sweating or screaming, I knew the rage was right beside me, ready to answer my call. But I was beginning to separate myself from it. I could see now that it wasn't who I was, but something that I could use.It's in my kit.Sly and Lily were the first ones I met. They were sitting on the ground next to the River with their bare feet in the stones. It seemed that they were staring up into the sky. Sly glanced my direction and smiled. Then he looked back at the clouds. I continued around the stream. Judy and Amber were sitting together at the next place where the stream intersected the River. It was much the same scene as Sly and Lily.. We would be at camp for six weeks and Rob told me he had a really great surprise to show me once we were there. Naturally our parents read us the riot act before we left and finally the big day arrived. We would ride on the bus to a small town in Massachusetts and be met there by Rob's sister Becky. All the way on the bus Rob refused to tell me what the surprise was. We finally arrived at the bus depot about 2:00 in the afternoon. It seemed like forever before an old orange colored VW bug pulled into the bus depot and the woman driving shouted hello to Rob.At first Rob didn't recognize Becky, so she hopped out of her car and ran over to give Rob a hug. Becky has lived away from home for over four years and neither her or Rob had seen each other in all that time. Rob and I just stood there looking at this woman. She wasn't anything like her old pictures. This woman was a goddess. She had long beautiful blond hair all the way down her back. She had on the smallest and tightest blue.
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