The upside though of all this stress is twenty plus years ago there used to be lots of rest areas all over New England that we could get into with a big rig to rest. One of my favorites was on I 93 southbound just north of I-495 corridor. It's gone now but in the day there was lots of action available 24-7. I'd pull all the way down on the right side of lot which was narrow and almost 3/8 mile long. the first half or better had an open field beside it but the last portion was right next to woods. We could park and get out of right side door and directly into woods and finds trails without ever being seen from the rest of the lot. It was favorite for many of us cause we could get naked in the truck and just wear our shoes and hop out and run the trails. The first time I was there though I wasn't nude. I was just walking the trails checking out the activities and terrain. I saw lots of pockets of guys behind a tree or shrub with one on their knees and one standing. The farther back. In many respects I should not have attended but knew that had I not my mother would have been very disappointed. I also needed some sort of closure and hoped that this could help provide it. Another attack of anger surged through me for entirely different reasons, when I saw Susan with her mother. This was the first time I'd seen this woman since she'd sent me that awful letter. Although many years had passed I still felt something akin to hatred towards her. The rage I was already feeling ensured that there would be no chance at forgiveness. I was grateful that Susan didn't see me because I was not sure how she would view the events leading up to the death of her best friend.For the burial I again retreated into the background, trying to stay away from everyone, including my own family. This was something I felt that I could not share, even with them. As the vicar droned on I became lost in my own thoughts and failed to notice Stephanie's mother approach."You bastard!" She yelled..
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