Akka: I am your sister, I am your sister.. Its wrong.. Its wrong..She was crying.. But she didnt push me away..I was so hurt to see her crying..I hugged her closer and started kissing her closed eyes.. Her forehead, her cheeks.. I placed sweet short kisses allover her face.. She kept sobbing, but she didnt say anything.. That encouraged me..I lifted her face again..Me: You are so beautiful, you are my angel.. I love you..With that i kissed her lips again.. Stronger this time, she tried pushing me away, tried to escape from my arms.. But i held her tight and kept kissing her hard..It was a rough kiss, she was struggling, protesting , our teeth ground together.. When she opened her mouth again to protest, i bit her lower lip and sucked it..She moaned in pain.. But i kept kissing her.. I held her tight and she was hitting me, but slowly it stopped.. Her palms were against my chest not moving.. Her eyes were glassy and her lips started to move with mine..Me: Mmm …Soon i lost all. Can I have another minute or two?”“Take three if it means I can stay!” she laughed.I smiled and put my mind back on the train of thought I’d been following. If all of what I was thinking was true, and I was being both dishonest with myself AND trying to avoid confrontation, I was in for a bunch of trouble. And maybe, that had caused some, if not most, of my troubles in the past. Indecisiveness was a hallmark of my behavior except in one area — wanting to be a doctor.My karate instructor had said as much when he had said I wasn’t focused and didn’t put in sufficient effort. Why? Did I question my own abilities? It wasn’t just time, it was commitment. I actually practiced my guitar more than I practiced karate, but I didn’t play for friends nearly as much as they wanted me to. Why? Doctor Blahnik had said I was good, but I wasn’t sure I believed her. It was self-confidence again.And maybe THAT was part of my issue with sex. I’d wanted to lose my virginity at fifteen or sixteen, but I.
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