10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west” on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. ‘In honor of the season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. ‘It’s a candle’, he said. ‘It did. Show some respect, for once. You know my feelings. Respect them. Or you’ll be responsible for the ending of what we have. Last warning.”Sue can be the most loving person in the world, but when pushed too far it’s a frightening prospect. By my stupidity and persistence, I’d pushed her right to the very limit.Feeling like my whole life was in tatters, I laid my phone down and headed to bed. I didn’t expect to get much sleep. But at least with my fingers away from my phone, my marriage might still have a slim chance of survival.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~As the clock inched closer to six-thirty, the early morning light started drifting into our family kitchen. I looked into the dregs of my coffee, seemingly a suitable parallel for my life. In my depressed and sleep deprived condition, I was confused as I saw the sweep of headlights through the window, before a car came to a stop in our drive.Before I realized what was happening, I saw Sue exiting the car and.
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