“I can’t release the chain without closing the door.”“Well I ain’t movin’ my foot,” he sneered.“It appears we’re at an impasse,” Janie shrugged.“Like hell,” he repeated. He looked over his shoulder “Hook.”Someone handed him a large hook on the end of a thick length of rope. The other end of the rope was given to one of the men on horses. The man with his foot in the door hung the hook on the length of chain.Janie’s heart sank. Still, she kept her control and poise. Danger was much easier than sex. “This is a very bad idea,” she said flatly.“Fuck you.” The man stepped back and waved his hand past his head. The horseman behind him turned his mount in a tight circle and went the other way. The rope went taught. The horse leaned further. The chain strained and then popped. Janie flinched.The man in the overlarge suit pushed the door open. Janie didn’t fight him. She just stepped back.“I am a Sister of the Magistrate,” she said calmly.“Sure, Sister, and I’m the Sultan of Malahara,” the. "Antonio and I will be making a traditional Mexican feast." Thank joo," he said, turning the "y" sound into a hard j with a rather authentic accent."Joo are welcome," I said, returning the favor with a half-smile. Shit, I may look like Marla Stiebert but that relentless sort of uncomfortable irony was purely me. "Here we have the authentic black bean soup," I said, looking down and gesturing towards one of the bubbling pots on the range. "I can see that you don't use pork or butter to flavor the soup." MEAT! BUTTER!" he shrieked. "But what about our Vegan friends that this soup was designed for?"I raised an eyebrow and turned to the camera. "For those of you who don't know, Vegans are a type of vegetarian. Not only do they refuse meat, but also eschew any product that they claim 'exploits animals.' This is why when the rest of your family was enjoying that rack of Easter lamb, and you offered a cheese sandwich to your niece with the ring through her nose, she got all haughty, then.
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