I was coiling lines, wiping down teak, filling the water tanks. All the little things Ruth and I used to do together. ‘Listen, I don’t care anymore! I’ve had it with you, with you and this silly goddamned boat! I’m going to my sister’s, you do what you’ve always done, you do what you goddamned well want to, because I don’t give a flying fuck anymore…’ It sounded a lot like a one-way conversation to me. Mumbled evasions, a life of simple denial, perhaps. ‘Tell you what, Hank. I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer. Maybe then you’ll say something…and maybe someone will care enough to listen, but I sure don’t…’ More rumbling from down below, then I looked on as a suitcase flew up from below and landed in their little cockpit with a sobering thud, this was followed by thundering footsteps and the emergence of a really dreadful looking woman. ‘What the fuck are you looking at, you fucking asshole!’ Really, I hadn’t been aware I was looking at her. Usually I don’t like to look at such. All too soon the squeals escape me. I feel her run her fingers into myhair and jerk my head up. But she doesn't stop delivering the blows."Poor sissy. Does it hurt, little girl?"As I open my mouth to answer another blow crashes down with thunderousforce, forcing a scream from me."God, yes. Scream. Scream like the pathetic little sissy you are. Screamloud enough and you will draw the attention of everyone in the hotel. Isthat what you want? You want everyone to hear you? To know that you can'teven take a spanking without crying like a little girl?"I try to answer her. To tell her 'no' and beg forgiveness. But as I beginto speak another blow brings another scream.Then she lets go of my hair and lets my head drop. No more blows come andmy body lays limp in the chair. I hear her set the paddle down. And all Ican think in my head, over and over, is "thank you" because she has setthat paddle aside.But my day is far from over. I know now that it just got worse as I feelher crop sliding up.
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