Of course I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t feel anything but the growing pressure. I was dead. I needed to just let go. There was nothing there on the other side of death but the absorption of my body into the pressure of earth. Maybe one day, like dinosaurs of old, I would become oil trapped in a layer of shale, pumped out to fuel a car or its equivalent eighty million years from now. Memory. Life. Family. Friends. Lovers. It all faded into that inky blackness as the pressure on my chest drove me into the ground and into oblivion.I woke, feeling air rushing into my lungs as I gasped. Early morning light came through my window. I lay flat on my back staring at the ceiling, wondering why I was alive. Beside me, Em stirred and I felt her hand in mine. She wore a long sleepshirt but I could feel the softness of her breast pressed into my arm.My anchor. She was why I was alive.I turned my head toward her and watched her sleep. She always slept in on Saturday morning after her big date nights.. "I am not!" Liz rose to the bait. "Not every night." I let them carry on, relieved that the focus was off what to do about Rhonda. Whitney paused and squeezed my shoulder before she left. I didn't look up.I grabbed the phone and had half the number dialed before I realized it was only Wednesday morning and not Thursday. I dropped the handset into its cradle and made coffee. This waiting was killing me. Surely she'd call me as soon as she had results. Maybe she'd had difficulty buying a test kit.I went out the back door and ran.I'd been running every day since the morning she left back in June. I hadn't run this hard, though since that day. I ran through the woods on my way back home crying as I ran, unable to catch my breath and running anyway. Whitney was in the drive waiting for me when I burst out of the woods and into the pasture. I saw her. I thought at first it was Heaven, but even my blurry eyes couldn't mistake the height of my friend as she ran toward me. I didn't make it to.
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