"I step behind, to the side. Tap her butt. I Swing back a bit, starting off easy, since we have a long time to go. Crack! She jumps a bit and says "1, Thank you Sir!" I give her 9 more before stopping and walk up to her head and scold her for her stupid behavior. "What you were doing is so stupid!" "Did you even think of the consequences!" "NO, I DON'T THINK SO!"I step back into positionI start again CRACK! Harder this time! Sally cries out! "11, Thank you Sir!" I give her another 9 and stop. "You could have run me off the road!" "Or anyone else for that matter!" "Or you could have simply cause an accident!" "And killed someone!"I step back again, swing back and CRACK!! Harder still! "21, Thank you sir". Her voice cracking on the verge of tears. By time we reached 28 she starts to cry. I stop at 30. "You hear about accidents everyday where people are texting!" "And yet people still do it!" "Because they think, "oh, that can't happen to me!" "Well it can happen to anyone!"I land the. Obey the law. Pay your taxes. And don’t even think that you’ll become deputies again. That ain’t gonna fly. You’re all banned from serving as deputies for life. Just be good, law-abiding, tax-paying citizens.“As for the rest of you guys, let’s move on to Lancaster and set up shop in the Sheriff’s Office. We need Supervisors. That’s gonna be ... Ryan, Wilbur, Leah, Raquel, and Becca. We need a County Attorney, formerly known as the Commonwealth Attorney. That’s Sardha. We now need a Treasurer. That’s gonna be Till. The Commissioner of Revenue will be Bonnie. The Clerk of the Circuit Court is now Willa. This is temporary. You, Hoss, what’s your name?” I asked the man who recruited me.“Chief Deputy Stuart Lopez, sir,” the fellow told me, “for the record, I was really nervous with the racist talk coming out of the guy. I’m Puerto Rican on my father’s side. It didn’t exactly make me thrilled to work for that asshole. But I did what I could as my civic duty, you know. And I worried that.
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