We'll I'd recognise that slimy, untrustworthy dick anywhere. That's disgraced former President of the United States, Richard Nixon. Poor Pat, you've got to feel for her. All that deep throating in underground car parks, the repeated illegal incursions into her safe space and never knowing whether tricky dicky was infecting her with bugs every time he made an entry. Not to mention having to play hostess to random groups of Cuban nationals of dubious provenance treating her personal harbour as a docking bay for insurrectionist pigs. Which just goes to show that married bliss isn't all anniversary gifts, Stepford Wife smiles and secret sojourns at the Watergate Hotel. So let's hope we can find something more appealing in the next letter. Dear Plump Clump My wife wants to dress up like a cheerleader for me, but I was a nerd in school and I'm afraid she'll get some jock to trap me in a locker. What should I do? Dynamic Napoleon Dear NappiesWhat could possibly be sexier than a bit of. .. ooze... it looks familiar; white, viscous, almost like; almost like..." Sperm." said Fred's voice; the guy from across the hall leaned against the doorframe. "That's what we are; and we want you to stop spying on us." Naah! What the? How could you..." We're not a threat to you; we don't want to hurt anyone. We want humans to join us; to join our family." What... what are you talking about F-Fred?" But Jason was afraid he already knew."Don't ask me;" Fred smiled, "Ask... her..." he beckoned to someone standing outside in the hallway.Jason's entire body quivered as a naked, sweaty Britney Spears strutted into the room. No! He... he... for years Jason had nurtured a secret, Britney Spears crush! And she was here; a wild mane of blond hair, her fit and trim figure glistening with sweat. High, perfect tits, bouncing high upon her nude chest. It was as though she had just finished her most intense, exhausting concert, and had then allowed her entire entourage of male dancers to pleasure.
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