I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.If anything, it made him more sluggish.And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"But John came fifth, and won a toaster.Q: How do you think the unthinkable?A: With an itheberg.Someone stole my mood ring.I don't know how I feel about that.I tried to catch fog yesterday--Mist.The first rule of Alzheimer's club--Is don't talk about chess club.Why does a chicken coop have two doors?If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.She looked surprised.This one is compliments of DennisThis happened to a friend of mine. Beware, it could happen to you. Ladies, please pass this on to your husbands, fathers, uncles, etc. so they will not fall prey to this scam.Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case. “One, thank you Mistress.” I knew she smiled as she glided the edge of the crop around the cheeks of my ass. Another slap there, this one short and quick. “Two, thank you Mistress.” She continued to strike me, each one making me wetter, and even though she tried not to show it, her labored breathing told me she was getting more and more turned on with each blow. I counted to twenty before she was done, my nipples, ass, and back all burning from the angry welts she left. “What good girl you are.” She grabbed my chin and kissed me hard, teeth and tongues mashing together. “You make your Mistress very pleased.” “I’d do anything for my Mistress.” Game aside it was true, but right now even more so because of the endorphin high I was on. My body ached, my pussy was dripping, and I needed some form of release. “I know you would.” She kissed my shoulder then bit down roughly enough to barely break skin. I moaned and clenched my thighs together trying to find some sort of relief. I knew I.
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