You're as happy as I've seen you since Mum died.''All right, you win, ' I said smiling at my inquisitor. 'I went on a date last night.''Oooh that was quick, we only talked about it the other day.' She paused a moment. 'No wonder you raised no objections to me staying over for the night, ' Kate giggled. 'Did you spend the night together?'I felt myself blush deeply. This was the sort of conversation I'd envisaged with my daughter a few times, but not for a number of years and with me asking the questions.'No need to answer Dad, you face has done it for you, ' she said pealing with laughter. 'Who is she? Wait let me guess. It's Michelle Grayson's aunt, isn't it?''No Kate it isn't. It's someone you haven't met and seriously it was nothing that was planned.'I went on to explain yesterdays events, omitting certain obvious details.'When do I get to meet her then?''This afternoon if you want.''I want.'The rest of the short trip back and the next hour were full of questions about Lucy. Where. Santa's in enough trouble without implicating himself in any more shenanigans, if you catch my snow drift. See what I did there? Combining snow and drift? Don't worry, Santa's not quitting his Christmas Eve gig any time soon." So anyway, two weeks later, Santa finally starts feeling better when I get a letter telling me that one of my products, 'The Automatic Vibromatic All In One Sex Tool', was being recalled, not because it didn't work, but because it was considered to be too dangerous. Now if you've never seen one of these things, it's a sex toy that has every possible function you can imagine. Essentially, you'll never need another sex toy, because it does everything. Call it the Swiss army knife of sex toys. In fact, it has a Swiss army knife function, which includes a handy corkscrew. Now I will admit putting the chainsaw function button next to the vibrate button wasn't the smartest idea Santa ever came up with, but come on, what's so dangerous about vibrating a tree down? And.
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