It was better now than after she and Luke had settled down. Better now than when he had grown use to reaching for her in the dark. Holding her against the night with a hand on her breast and a whisper of love in her ear. Better now than having to tell a little girl with azure eyes that her mommy still loved her but mommy needed more than daddy could give. Better now when the break could be clean and any mess or rubble he could accept. Accept and rebuild, till a fortress surrounded him, with walls of steel and locks of iron.Luke wished her the best. He was walking away. It was like Ellen. Only worse. She was his Jessie. She, more than anyone else, deserved to be happy. Even if it meant someone else, someone better. He would endure being Rick watching Ilsa leave on a plane out of Casablanca. He would be Vedder mumbling that she would "be the sun in somebody else's sky." "Why not mine?" was the only thought that trailed off in his head.The phone rang. It was Jim."I'm sorry man." Yeah.. She needed a damn good fucking. So she made a decision. Whatever it took, she’d make sure that when they got home her husband would give her what she needed. She plotted her campaign and paid no attention to where she was going. Luckily, her feet knew the way and stopped when they reached the car park.“Did we park on five or six?” she asked the moon. “It was five, wasn’t it? I’m sure it was five.”She climbed the stairs and stumbled out onto the fifth level. Through her drunken haze, she searched for Jack’s car. The car park was cold, damp and dimly lit. Several of the fluorescent strip-lights overhead were smashed. It reminded Carol of a set from one of the slasher movies she’d watched in her youth. She half-expected a masked axeman to jump from the shadows and start chasing her. There were only a handful of cars left—a shabby blue Ford, a new BMW and a sleek, scarlet Ferrari, crouched in a corner, like an exotic predator trapped in a concrete cage. “Well, look at you. Aren’t you a.
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