I put myself out there to test the waters and monitor feedback, and everybody wanted me. I could have had any guy I wanted, it was.... Powerful, I was hooked. I did this all in hiding and it became an obsession, I would do solo videos, I spent thousands of dollars on clothes, stayed learning to fuck my ass with dildos, in so tight this was very difficult at first, I loved dildoing my ass and pulling it out to suck it, so for months I practiced, rejecting men left and right, was waiting for the right one, and was also obsessed with finding a couple. I've really let go this past couple months and talked to a lot of people and started to give In to my repressed desires, I was Programmed to deny all notions because I would go to hell for being gay, that's how I was raised. Well so I suppressed my sexuality, caging this little horny blonde freak and her and I have stayed to become one, after putting her impulses in check, I've reached a subspace with her, I think. I learned to let go. To. I liked him a lot. I could be myself with him. I didn't need to smile if I didn't want to, and I could be naked or in my pj’s, and he wouldn't see me. I confided him some choices I had to make, and he supported me all the way.After a few emails, we knew each other better than anyone else. We never exchanged a photo or phone numbers, so we didn't know the sound of our voices. I didn’t know his real name, but just his nickname, Rex.We promised to keep it this way to not ruin everything. With a fantasy I don't fight, I only talk and make love and I am loved in the way I prefer. It’s like having an imaginary friend. After I got promoted as manager in my company, I had to go to Houston to meet all the other managers.I checked in at the hotel and the receptionist gave me a message someone left. The message said: "Dinner at Giacomo's. 7:30. Can't wait to meet you."It was from one of the managers I was going to meet the day after that, apparently."Ok, thank you. Oh, excuse me, do you know.
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