She didn't quite get there."You sure he was the only one who was suddenly uncomfortable?" Meredithasked. "After all, you're in uncharted territory, now, and you yourselfsaid you really didn't know what you wanted. Does this change anything?"Tina considered it."I don't know. I thought I was going to be his girl. He seemed to wantit, until he realized..."She stopped, unable to put the rest into words."I know. That ugly fact that you wish wasn't a fact but is, and it willalways be. And it sucks that you might let it ruin a perfect night."Alyssa told me about you on the dance floor, looking better than youhad in my basement. She told me about you fixing up Deanna Yardley, andthen Deanna putting down Mary Ellen, cunt that she is. Sounded like areal Cinderella night, so when I didn't hear from you with all the juicydetails, I knew something had gone way wrong."And I was pretty sure what."They talked another two hours. Ken was a sweetheart and a really decenthuman being, but he wasn't going. As I was beyond fourteen weeks, and that my dates must have been wrong. They then informed me there was a different procedure that could be done up to twenty weeks, it was only available in the main centers, but not locally.I slowly left the clinic and went back home, I still pregnant to the rapist. I sat on my bed and cried again, I was totally fed up, how on earth could I be seventeen weeks? I knew full well when I had been raped. If I tried to get the other procedure would they tell me I was too far along too? I began to doubt myself, I just wanted this nightmare to end.I rang to make another appointment with my doctor, but they were away for a week, and the locum who was in attendance I did not like. No! I would not go and see him. I knew then my chances of getting a termination in time was now extinguished.I was still pregnant to the rapist, and that was not going to change any time soon. The next morning after my shower, I stood naked in my bathroom, looking in the mirror at the.
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