Besides, Ithink it'd be cute. Many boys these days have long hair, so I don'tthink anyone will say anything about it if you decide not to dress asCarrie. We can even get your ears pierced." "Also," she added, "I want you to take some time every day toexperiment with clothes. I'll get you some fashion magazines andthey'll give you some ideas, but you should also look at what othergirls your age are wearing." "Oh, I'd love to let my hair grow," I answered excitedly, "andit'd be fun, especially getting my ears pierced. Please don't thinkI'm silly, Aunt Jeannie, but I'm so happy when I'm Carrie and wearinggirl's things." "What's silly about that? I loved being a girl when I wasyour age and I still do. Half the fun of being a teenager wasdressing up in new clothes or reading about them. The other half wastalking about boys with other girls my own age. You can do that onceyou make some friends as Carrie." "Do you think I'll be able to, Aunt Jeannie? It's so hard forme to believe. I guess there must have been about 25 to 30 of us crammed into Nana's hot and humid sala that night. When I started talking to Ramon, I just thought it was a totally innocent conversation. If I had thought for one moment that it would end up with me having sex with him, I would have been overcome with shyness. But this was a boy I had known all my life: the grandson of one of Tatay's older brothers. It seemed quite natural to be talking about what had happened to us over the past year. We're about the same age, you see, and have both just started work.Perhaps I was naive. But when Ramon suggested that we go outside and sit on the wall to talk - where it was cooler and quieter - I thought it was just kindness and friendliness on his part. But it was dark where he chose to sit, shaded from the street light by a tree, and it felt romantic. Feelings new to me stirred inside me as we chatted in the darkness. I had strange feelings in my stomach, and I think my puki was also getting.
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