”“I’m not. We danced, and Tommy put his hand on my ass for everyone to see. And guess what? I loved it. I think I would have stood naked beside him if he’d asked me to. I found out that I’m a bit of an exhibitionist.”“I would never have thought that my sister, the bookworm, would have ever done something like that. Good for you!” Margaret said, and she quietly clapped her hands. “Did you have a wonderful time?”“I tell you what,” Elizabeth announced. “If you and the man of God decide to get married, I’ll give you first class tickets to fly to Tahiti so that you too can spend some time in paradise. The place is just breathtakingly beautiful. We turned off our cell phones and fucked like wild animals for two weeks.”“What a vocabulary you have,” Margaret said, somewhat surprised.“You can thank Bill for that,” Elizabeth confessed. “He made me strip away all of what he called the ‘sterile’ words. Bill wouldn’t let me use words like penis, vagina, and intercourse. He said they were phony and. "Daughter, Aunt, Woman, Lesbian? All these words that came with me now.Not KirstyI looked at the worn carpet. "I don't call myself Kirsty anymore. I'mEmma." Emma?" they said in turn."Not very exciting," said Tracy."I didn't want excitement. I needed..." I know love. Emma is right pretty." She touched my hand again. Before Ileft she wrote her mobile number on a post-it and pressed it into myhand. I promised I'd be in touch, promised I'd come back and shook myhead when Tracy offered herself and Kayzia to keep me company on the wayto the Metro station. I had a family again, but I wasn't sure what to dowith them or what they meant to me. On the train I refused to look atanybody, stared resolutely out of the window. Evan, Kirsty, Mam, Tracy,Olivia - their faces whirled through my mind and I couldn't anchormyself to any of them. My phone beeped twice - poor Olivia. Why was Ipunishing her?Spotting a big Tesco store over the road from the Premier Inn, I headedin there, intending to get myself.
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