.."That's the message we have had brain-washed into us from the day we were born. Women should not want sex. Ideally they should just close their eyes, think of England, and submit to their husband's baser urges. Of course with no-one to teach these poor husbands, they were rather inept lovers, so it wasn't difficult to suppress any good feelings. Oh, sure, some people do seem to still like sex, ('Look, just like honeymooners... ') and it's Ok to giggle about it, but you wouldn't ever give in to any baser urges...And then there are those very few of us who, for some reason or another, have rejected that paternalistic religious power trip.In my case, it happened on a trip to Jamaica, on my honeymoon. Luckily, towards the end of the honeymoon, after my husband had broken my hymen, then squirted inside me, then collapsed asleep beside me. He did this once every night for the first week, then every second night for the second week, always in the same position, dripping sweat onto me while. ‘W….when you turned around you didn’t s..s..say anything. You just kept staring at me. I thought you were going to hurt me, I wasn’t thinking of you I was thinking of Shawn.’ She paused and took a deep breath, ‘All I could see was him.’ She stated in a shaky voice that sent cold chills down his back. Tyler couldn’t believe that she still dealt with so much from the trauma of that day. He could understand why, but it didn’t seem as if she was dealing with it like she should. Knowing Nyla as long as he had he could bet money that all she was doing was holding it in. ‘Nyla, I’m sorry that this happened to you. I wish I could’ve done something to stop it.’ He said quietly. ‘Ty, you couldn’t have done something if you had tried you didn’t know it was going to happen, so don’t blame yourself.’ She said as she tried not to jump as he shifted his body. She wished that she wasn’t so scarred. When they had first entered her home she had felt comfortable with him there, it had just felt like.
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