As we had all grown-up together, it had become patently obvious, remarkably early on, that Sally and Bill were one day going to end up man and wife. As they eventually did when Sally was only seventeen years old. Bill, like myself, was just one year older. They'd got married just a few months after Bill joined the army.I had never been able to understand why; but Bill appeared only ever to have had two goals in his life. Firstly to marry Sally! And the secondly, to follow his father into the army. In his short life Bill did manage to achieve both those goals though.But Bill -- I'm sure -- had always believed that he'd return wearing his gallantry medals; unlike his father, whose medals were displayed on a little shrine in the family home.Alice came into the picture when Bill and I were about ten years old. His Royal Highness George Arnold had always lived at the vicarage, -- the house on the south side of my parents house – well, the Arnolds had lived there as long as I could remember. "You sir are depraved," the Earl muttered, "Is the Landlord's daughter abroad?" he asked, "For do you know I feel stirrings." Indeed," I agreed, "Though she is as ugly as a pig with a fragrance to match," Ah, then this is she!" he agreed as he espied a well padded young woman waddling towards us, "Might I trouble you for a dalliance?" he asked his addled brain mistaking the woman for the Landlord's daughter." A dalliance?" she demanded, "A dalliance!" for far from the Landlord's daughter it was indeed Molly Garth, Hannah's sister that had come to see me."You mock me!" the Earl demanded, "You think I am incapable!" I nearly burst my sides with the efforts of stifling my laughter"No sir, no but a dalliance?" she said."Dalliance, pronging, fornication, call it what you will," he demanded, "I have stirrings and I demand satisfaction!" Damn it girl, my Lord Earl Marchington has needs," I insisted, as I almost shook with laughter, "Disrobe now I say!" Earl?" she queried, "Earl Marchington!".
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