Isuppose as it is with most children who suffer from this "affliction",(as I viewed it at the time) I thought I had the best kept secret in theworld. Only with hindsight as an adult did I realize it was the best keptopen secret in the world! The taboo subject never to be talked about inmy presence, but no doubt a topic of conversation discussed in myabsence. Looking back as an adult minus my childhood naivety I nowcomprehend all the innuendos and subtle mickey taking I received from mypeers and adults alike, not to mention the unexplainable hostility fromcertain quarters.Within that new found hindsight which comes with maturity of adulthood Ihad to dispense with the delusion that my mother had no idea of myinclinations. In my own defence I only knew her in the first six years ofmy life before she was cruelly snatched away from me by a drunk driverwho mowed her down as she stood unaware on the pavement.Yes hindsight can be a wonderful tool in life to boost ones learning andexperience. You'll make her daughter yours. Oh, I'm not talking about adoption or anything. She'll just adopt you as her new father. And there I shall be. Loved, I guess, by you all but loved most of all by you and I can't ask for more than that." But Sharon, my love, aren't you going to feel second best?" No, my darling Richard! I never expected or even hoped to be the first woman in your life. My job was to get you living again and I've done that and done what Rachel asked me to do. Falling in love with you was my stupid fault. The fact that you love me and aren't going to let me go is a bonus, like winning the lottery." A lot of nice people have had their lives ruined by winning the lottery." Not me. You'll never let me down and because Deborah is going to be your soul-mate she won't either. I'm in a win-win situation and I'm so happy for myself and for you two." Sharon, my sweet, you are exceptional." Dead right and don't you forget it!" she grinned. Then she paused. "No, my darling man, I.
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