It rang and rang and rang again. Somehow I knew it was Saturday and bleary eyes read 6:43 AM on my bedside clock.Startled but still half asleep, I rolled out of bed, pulled on a robe and stumbled down the stairs.“Coming!” I shouted, trying to tie the cord and navigate the stairs without breaking my neck. I made it.“Where’s the fire?” I yelled as I yanked open the door with one hand while holding my robe in place with the other. It was Lucy, my best friend, my one true love, a hardcore lesbian, and the very last person I wanted to see today. She sauntered past me with a “Morning, sleepyhead!” “Do you know what time it is?”“My wedding’s in two weeks and my party’s tonight, so it’s Lucy-running-late time. Is what’s-her-name upstairs?”“Her name is Susan, and no, she’s not.”“Good! Come along.” She took the stairs two at a time, me plodding behind. By the time I caught up she’d doffed her coat and was sitting in my chair with her booted feet on my bed.“Go on. Get dressed,’ she said. “You. I heard the water leave her body and pour into the funnel and her sigh of release as she enjoyed relieving herself for my benefit. As I struggled to swallow she chuckled to herself.“That’s so much better now. I really didn’t want to go out with all that inside me. I will feed you tomorrow and tell you all about my adventure, so get yourself in the right frame of mind because I would not want you to cry again like the last time.”I heard the click of her heels on the stair, the slight creak of the door and the turn of the key in the lock and then I was alone in my darkness. The Plan.The house was paid for, the car was paid for, but the rest of our lives was a mass of bills that we paid as they became due. I suppose that is one of the consequences of working for a software firm. The money arrives in gushes as the work is finished and the salary is paid in bonuses and shares in the software.If it sells, then you are rich.If it bombs then it’s nose to the grindstone.After a year it became.
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