"Sure, no problem," I said sarcastically. "Just tell me which of these bills not to pay."She just glared at me. I thought for a moment she was going to start yelling but whatever she was thinking, she kept to herself.As soon as I said what I did, I felt bad. It wasn't really such a horrible request."I'm sorry, honey," I apologized. "I promise, it won't always be like this. I haven't stopped looking for a better job; in the meantime, we just have to cool it for a while." Cool it?" she snarled. "Skyler we've been cooling it for almost a year now. I feel like a caged animal. I need to get out and enjoy myself." I know, honey; I know," I said trying to placate her. "Look, we have a lot to catch up on. Five months ago we missed a house payment and our second car payment. We came this close," I said holding my thumb and index finger about an inch apart, "to having your car repossessed. With this month's commission check we'll be square except for one car payment. If we can keep the grocery. I kick and buck and twist. But Thomas is strong, almost as strong as Dad. But Dad doesn’t hold me like that unless I am breaking things or hurting myself. Thomas can be mean.This morning my head was exploding with voices. That happens a lot. I don’t remember now what the voices were saying. It wouldn’t have mattered. I just couldn’t make them stop. I screamed to cover them up. I put my head down like a bull and charged. The top of my head crashed into the wall of my bedroom. The wall crumbled where I crashed into it. There was a top-of-my-head shaped hole on my side of the wall. If I’d run faster and harder I would have gone through the wall. Nothing could stop me. But my head hurt.Dad stopped me before I could try again. So I just screamed and screamed. My brother was talking too, maybe he was yelling at me. I don’t even know. I wasn’t hearing to his noise. All I could tell was Dad was holding me. His low voice helps to calm me, the sound, not the words. I don’t know what words he.
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