I liked wearing his shirts to bed, or in general because it made me feel like a man, that, and like I had part of him with me even when he wasn’t around. I can’t really explain it more than that. 

The new apartment, which we had been in for a few months now was small and the bathroom was attached to the master bedroom. I thought to take a pee first, and then maybe try to sleep again, but as I carefully opened the door into my father’s room, I saw him asleep in his large bed, comfortable and bare from the waist up. That’s all I could see as the blanket covered from there down. Something in me kicked in to get into bed with him after using the bathroom. Some feeling to be held, or protected as if being with my father meant nothing could get me. 

Opening the bathroom door, it pushed aside his work clothes from the night before. Green boxers and jean pants. His forest green dress shirt, I remember thinking how funny that his underwear matched his shirt, but also thought it a. When my mom calls, I’ll just wave her a hi and used to escape to the play ground as it was Pongal uncle used to be home and Uma aunty also never called us to her house.Once in while I used to go to tuition place and used to sit with Lucy and Lana. We used to play caroms and chess and sometimes badminton on their terrace. Lucy and Lana also never bothered to wear anything in front of me as they know I have seen them naked with Vinay and raja. All I needed were some hugs and kisses when I win the game or they win the game.At the end of Pongal holidays schools were not opened but I think offices were and when Uma aunty was talking to my mom they were discussing about children etc and her husband’s tour for 3 days on special duty. Her husband left the next day and Uma aunty was in my home all the time. She was talking to me once in a while but she was acting as nothing happened. She was asking me about the half yearly exams and stuff and I was replying normally.When she was going back.
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