We'll alternate questions, and the one with the most correct answers at the end wins. If you win, I'll hang up this hat and suit for good. If you lose, you can owe me a very small favor. Nothing important, serious or hurtful, but you'd be helping me, along with yourself too ... and might even enjoy it. Do we have a bet?"Absolutely. I'm pretty good at this game, and there wasn't the slightest doubt in my mind that I could beat a drink-besotted Santa wannabe. Plus, it would keep him safely away from diddling some children or exposing himself to any old ladies for awhile. On the plus side, at least this guy had a real white beard and looked the part.I took that bet ... and he absolutely whooped my ass. He never missed a question, not a single one! I hardly got a single answer right. It was all weird stuff like Existential Philosophers, Australian Marsupials, Oriental Porcelain and yes, of course, Renaissance era Italian Poets.Bah! I took a long bathroom break to see if Santa would. I could roofie your drink. I could quickly release my granite-hard dick and stroke myself to orgasm in, I'm sure, seconds. But in the end I'm just not that sort of asshole, the kind who'd break agreed-upon rules, never mind the flaunting of legalities or basic mores. I've agreed to the rules of the day, and this is what I've paid handsomely for. It seems to be going pretty well so far, so I'll see where this leads.As if you can hear what I'm thinking, your voice calls out again from the bathroom amidst the rustle of hangars. "So Jay, tell me... why would you pay some girl on the internet to come and pose for you? Can't you get a girl on your own to do this? Or are they chicken?" I've got a thing for exhibitionists. Somebody secure enough, sexual enough, to get off on guys seeing them naked, that turns me on. That seems to fit you pretty well, judging from how often you put pictures up on reddit. Plus you wear glasses a fair bit, which also turns me on, since I dig intelligence, or at.
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