" Her eyes flashed. "You had a lot of obstacles and overcame them; I don’t know why you keep seeing that as a bad thing instead of the testament to your strength that it is." "Celia called me," Dee said quietly, sipping at her wine. Lani's anger fled immediately, was replaced by concern. "What did she want?" "Money." Dee shrugged. "What she always wants." "What did you say?" "I told her no." Dee stared at her wine and Lani exhaled silently in relief. "But she'll just ask again, you know how she is." Lani did indeed. Celia was Dee's cousin, raised next to her in the projects, and had taken the exact opposite path. She'd been involved in drugs and prostitution and in and out of too many rehabs to count. Celia continually came to Dee when she reached bottom, knowing Dee was often a soft touch. "I know," said Lani, "and you know you should tell me if she calls again. If she keeps it up, you should call the police." "It's hard to call the police on family," Dee said, but she wasn't angry.. I stood outside the entrance as I finished it, watching the people passon the sidewalk, getting in and out of cabs, revolving in and out of thedepartment store doors. Eyes flashing, noticing me. Three women,smartly dressed, walked toward the entrance, talking, laughing. One ofthem looked directly at me. Our eyes locked for a moment. Anuncomfortable moment. I had no perception of what that look meant. I had no sense of self. Itook two quick drags of the cigarette, hardly conscious of the smokewhooshing from my nostrils. I ground out the cigarette with my shoe.Those mules, those stupid mules. This dress, those shoes, it was aclumsy combination. That apprehension grew. Did they see me as a fraud?Could they tell? How could they possibly tell? I glanced at thiscleavage, my bare legs. I thought of my vagina, my bush. But I had nopurse. I was holding a man's wallet and a pack of cigarettes. God, Ifelt lost. I had envisioned the ride up the escalator as a glorious moment,.
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