Whatever part you played, I wanted to say thank you.”“I don’t know that I played a very big part,” I answered. “Sometimes when there is a flood, you just need to dig a little channel and the water will flow where it belongs.”“Thank you anyway,” she said. “And good luck.”“Thank you,” I said, “and thank you, Billie, for being such a great inspiration to me to get my new heart and get well.”“Honey,” Wanda said to Billie, “we don’t want to tire Mr. Hamar out. I’ll bring you back to see him tomorrow.”“I’m going home next week,” Billie said. “I hope you get to go home soon!”I waved and Riley and I watched them leave. We sat in silence for a few minutes.“Riley,” I said.“I’m not leaving,” she answered quickly.“You can’t stay here forever, kiddo,” I replied.“Dag, I can’t. I won’t say goodbye.” I could see tears in her eyes and I could feel them building again in my own. Billie’s visit had brought the reality of my situation home for both of us. That beeping machine next to me was a constant. She was crying out across the land her Darkness, her consuming inner need aching to be satisfied. Even so, she was new to the Darkness, so new she did not even realize that she was calling out, and that she was being called in return. Because she was new and inexperienced I tried to warn her about the call, how it would continue to grow and begin to fill her thoughts day and night if she did not run from it, or just give in to it completely. Fool that I am I tried to ignore her call, and urged her to flee it, but the Darkness will not be ignored. Every time she conversed with me she learned more about my Darkness, and the more she learned about my Darkness the more she became enthralled with it, the stronger the call became to her. Now we are both stuck in a horrible place, we hear each others call to Darkness loud and pure and sweet as Surrender, but she is afraid, she didn’t even know she had this Darkness inside of her six weeks ago and now it seems as if it will Consume her. I.
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