It was, after all, a huge change in my own life.So there were weeks when I didn't see Mia, because she was avoiding me. And I sort of suspected that she was avoiding me. And yet, when we did see each other, she had that dazzling smile and I got hugs - quick ones, but still hugs - and she talked to me and asked me what I was doing and all that stuff, just like everything was completely normal.It was frustrating for me, because I didn't understand what was happening.And that was what I think created that little extra malevolence in me that ended up giving me the reputation of being merciless.And the reputation of being merciless caused her to pull away from me a little more.Except that Mia Falcon had decided, completely unknown to me (and I think even to herself, at that point) that Bobby Cassidy was the boy she was going to give her virginity to.I said that Mia avoided me sometimes. That's true. But she also sought me out sometimes. It's kind of like somebody who is bipolar, and has. The thing I've been afraid of the most, the reason why I remained silent about my feelings all this time, has happened. I should feel sad, but instead, I'm angry, knowing I've wasted years on this friendship for it all to become meaningless, and I punch him again despite the teachers now yelling for help to break us up.We continue to brawl, neither of us prepared to give in to the other, as we release our pent-up resentment with the tinder finally being lit, until eventually, we're dragged apart, with two people grabbing me under my arms.Hauling us before the headmaster, who is furious at being kept from going home, I shrink back in my chair as he labels me the instigator, then informs me I'll be swapping classes after the Christmas break. The rage now rapidly fades as the injuries we'd ignored and fought through become achingly apparent. I didn't intend to hurt him when we started our argument, but as I look at him with his two black eyes, clutching his side, I feel guilty with him.
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