I reminded him I was equally involved which set his mind at ease and fast.We carried on with life as usual enjoying family outings and events, like nothing happened. It was important to me that this didn't interfere with our typical daily routine in any way, revealing its existence. I made it clear that it was only something we would embark upon,... if it was meant to be.My husband Keith was impressed by Michaels new sense of responsibility, knowing that he didn't have tosupervise his tasks around the house, unaware of the new stimulus. I was very pleased with Michaels adaptation.One Saturday afternoon Keith was in the backyard chatting with a neighbor. Michael spent that morning eyeing my legs as I sat in shorts, reading a magazine. His father was in the kitchen during his observation and any mention of it, would have brought more attention... I whispered; ' Michael has a thing for his mother legs '.......... and he melted into seat.I walked into the kitchen when I noticed Keith was. But imagine a self-pleasing, addictive person like me discovering that sex really is all that it’s cracked up to be. DANGER, DANGER, DANGER! I’d probably forget to eat and give my body to those who don’t deserve it just so I can achieve an orgasm. That isn’t the life I want for myself. I also don’t want to spend the next 20 years with my secret fetishes and lonely heart. But, it seems it is the life I am constructing. Three weeks ago I ended a two-year relationship with the man I knew was going father my children. We were going to have a Brainiac Adonis just like him and an angel hearted beauty just like me. But I ruined it with my sexual lockdown. He has been ready for the next step but I knew I couldn’t do it before marriage and maintain the control I so desperately need. Eventually he secretly decided to move forward without notifying me. I didn’t find out in a dramatic fashion like walking in on him having sex or anything. What clued me in was the letter I found on his nightstand.
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