"I don't want to go outside wearing this pink dress sis, please I don'twant to wear any dresses," I say and I almost start crying.Pam stands back up looking down at me. "You are the one that was wearinga dress this morning and you have been outside twice now wearing one ofyour pretty new dresses so you didn't come straight with your teacher oryour new friends." You know you have a choice, everyone will know you as the little girlyou look like or you can tell them you are a boy wearing a dress. Whichdo you think you will have more friends doing?"How does my life get so screwed up? I can't believe everyone thinks I ama girl. I guess mommy was right I should have got my haircut short likethe other boys. "I know you are deep in thought little sister, but I amgoing to be late for practice so let's go." I lift my hand up and Pamtakes my hand while we walk out the front door towards her car."You won't tell mommy that I was wearing a dress today right Pam?" I lookup at Pam as she opens the. I'll wait one more hour.I'm not going to back down tonight. I'm going to do this.I'm wearing a matching pink bra and thong, tan pantyhose with a patterned fishnet over it. This sexy short dark green dress and my 5" sparkly heels. I kill time by talking with friends here on Lush. They are telling me to "Go for it; don't chicken out." One last look, if they are still out I'm not going to do it tonight.1:40 a.m. I walk to the door and scan carefully. This is difficult due to the street light outside my building, right out side my front door, making it clear what I'm wearing if someone was outside. No one there. Good. I go back in and use the potty. I put my heels back on and look out my door again. Here I go.I take my first few steps out to the sidewalk and look around. Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump . My heart is pounding. I am both scared and excited. I look around, and I don't hear or see anyone. Slowly I start to walk. Click Clack, Click Clack. My heels on the concrete. I can't walk too.
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