To be honest I can'treally explain it. It has just always been a part of me. While I can'texplain why, I can only tell my story. This is my true confession and itis nice to be able to say what cannot be spoken.I have to admit I have had this fantasy & deep desire to be a bridesince I was little. I'm dying to tell my story! Confession helps bearthe secret.Growing up, secretly I loved seeing fashion magazines for women. Thiswas especially true for weddings and bridal magazines. I absolutelyloved seeing how pretty all the girls looked in the truly beautiful andgorgeous wedding gowns. Oh how I wanted to be one of them - to know howit felt to be a beautiful girl on her most special day - to be aprincess. But I had to keep quiet and never admit my thoughts. I know Iwas not supposed to think that way. "Boys are not supposed to bebrides."Every wedding I attended I'd watch the bride to see what she wore andwonder how she felt. What dress did she pick? Why did she select it? Howdid it fit her. Haircutswere no longer part of my school's dress code! I didn't cut my hair atall that year, and when it grew long enough, I began to wear it in a lowponytail. Physically, it was apparent that I would be a late bloomer.I had grown to about 5'-6" and still had a very slim, delicate build.Nevertheless, the first hints of adolescence were starting to becomeapparent. As my body began to show those first changes, I hated it! Iguess that emotionally, my decision about the which side of that fenceto choose seemed to have been made for me. Mom and Dad and I talked alot about it, and after weeks of soul-searching, Mom took me to aspecialist in Dallas. He asked me lots of questions and gave me sometests, then referred us to a psychologist. The psychologist was veryunderstanding and professional, and I answered all of her questionshonestly. After several interviews, she explained that with my parents'permission, I could be put on a regimen of female hormones andtestosterone blockers.
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