Dinner was wonderful. About the only time I’d get to have lamb chops would be at Becky’s. We also had mashed potatoes smothered in butter and gravy along with a little bit of okra and greens on the side. I ate a lot, but still had room for some of the best pecan pie I ever tasted.“Linda, I have to go over to Trudy Milhorn’s. She hasn’t been feeling well and I thought I might bring her some dinner. You clean up the kitchen and I’ll be back by ten.”I set the record for kitchen duty and raced into the bathroom to find the book. It was still in the drawer, but I noticed she’d moved it and marked a page. I opened the paperback to see what Aunt Becky was reading. I’d looked at some sex books before, but nothing as beautiful as this.“It’s just me, Linda. Trudy wasn’t feeling all that well so I came home early. I think I’m going to turn in now.”The book was safely hidden away in the drawer and I met Becky in the bedroom. She was getting ready for bed and I decided I better join her.I couldn’t. My back will be to the mirror, just as it was. I will order the same coffee, in the same way. The waiter will have the same look of detached politeness. I may even catch the heel of my shoe in the same knot in the floorboard, and sigh. I will look up and see you. As I did that day. That day you smiled and watched as I slipped my foot out of my shoe, leant down and twisted the heel carefully to release it. My eyes meeting yours, again. And again. You will come over to me as I slip my foot back in my shoe, smile and say, ‘Typical, isn’t it?’ I will smile back and say, ‘Isn’t it just?’ You will ask me if I am expecting anyone. When I say no, you will ask if you can join me. We will begin to talk again. It will be easy, comfortable, the rich consistency of thick, milky coffee, as it was that day. The air heavily scented with warm toast and cappuccino. We will begin talk of our husbands and our lives, squeezed small and wrapped too tight. We will talk of our unhappiness. I will lose.
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