She held my hand as we walked back to see Midge. I said, "Ms.Midge, here is your favorite client, Laura" and then did a quickcurtsey. Laura and Midge were laughing at my antics but Midge said, "Ithink Didi is a natural in hair styling, don't you Laura."They both started hugging and kissing me and I thought I was going todrown in a sea of estrogen. "Didi, did you just get your first bra?"Midge asked. "Yes, Aunt Midge, I'm the same size as my friend Sandy,we're both a 32A." "My, my, my, aren't you the growing girl!" Lauraasked what kind of bra I had on for my first. I wasn't sure so I liftedup my bra so she could see: "32A La Perla, you are going to have a bigblossom very soon, Didi!" I didn't know what 'blossoming' meant, but Ithanked Laura.Mom returned and thanked all of the ladies. Midge asked if I would liketo help her tomorrow morning at her shop. I shook my head yes, and askedher what I should wear?"Your mom can help you sweetie. Just look around the shop and see howeveryone is. I was agitated and angry and hurt and a thousand other emotions all rolled into one. I couldn’t cope with this. I just wanted it to stop. I closed my eyes and thought about that drop from the balcony and how calming the wind on my face would be.I pressed my fists to my forehead, like I was trying to press the thoughts out of my head.“After my parents divorced, my uncle started sneaking into my room at night,” she told me. “I was eleven. He kept it up until I was fourteen and I had a miscarriage. Then it all came out. He’s still in jail. My aunt went back to Colorado and hasn’t spoken to any of us since. My mother barely talks to me. They blame me for it. My uncle was a good man, a pillar of the community. I can see the blame in their eyes. I blame myself. Maybe it’s stupid, but I can’t stop.”Suddenly we were both crying. There were no words. We didn’t need any. We sat with our arms around each other, our guilt pouring out of us. I clung to her and I knew that she was clinging to me..
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