I will always be there for you."From that day forward we made love almost every time we were together. I missed two of my periods in a row and went to see the doctor. I told him maybe it was the birth control pills I was taking.The doctor looked at me and said, "Nancy, you're pregnant."I said, "But, Doctor, I'm on birth control."He told me either I started it too late or I was that one in a hundred that got pregnant regardless of the pill. I left his office in a daze.I went to see Jim and he could see I was upset. He asked me, "What is the problem?"I had tears in my eyes and said, "I'm pregnant."He looked at me and said, "I thought you were on the pill?"I told him, "I was but I got pregnant anyway. I'm going to keep the baby regardless if you want anything to do with me and the baby. I love you but would never trap you."Jim then got down on one knee, looked at me and said, "Nancy, will you marry me? I promise I'll always be there for you and the baby."Of course I said, "Yes" and. The moonlight bathes the backyard in its blue light. The oiled spit gleams on its iron supports over the charcoal filled pit. Dad set it up yesterday, the kindling, covered by the charcoal, and the four long wicks of rolled cotton that sink to the bottom of the pit, to light it. In between the regular charcoal he mixed self lighting one, to make sure it will light up easily. I helped him set it up, another family tradition I could have done without. A can of lighter fluid to soak the cotton wicks sits nearby.I shiver again, and I know it is not from the cold.The eastern sky begins to turn light.I should return to the house but something keeps me outside. After yesterday's party, no one will be up early today.Under the awning, the hardwood spitting table sits; the straps at the legs of the table await my ankles and wrists. The dark stains, on its surface, terrify me. I shake in terror and tears come to my eyes.It is better I get this over with here, with no one watching. I fall to my.
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