Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.AND A BONUS RULE:6. Condoms do not guarantee safe sex;A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband!This one is compliments of johnRamblings of a Retired MindI found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond.Am I getting to be that age?I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.I was thinking about old age and decided that old. We were making out, our bodies pushed up against the brick of the building, bodies melding as one, when he came out of the front door. ‘Hey! What are you punks doing out here!? I’m running a business here, not a…’ ‘Sorry pal, we sort of got caught up in the moment,’ she pleaded. It took him a moment to realize who I was, but when he did an intense smile of recognition came across his face. ‘Hey!! Sorry buddy, I didn’t realize it was you. No offense intended, I thought you were a couple of teenage hooligans, trying to get into the club.’ I smiled. ‘It’s okay. I was feeling like a teenage hooligan.’ Without skipping a beat, because I could tell I was holding him up, and driving in this weather wouldn’t be very easy. ‘Question for you pal… Remember that favor you owe me?’ This time it was he who had the wide grin across his face. ‘So, you’re cashing in!’ He laughed. ‘Say no more, what’ll it be? VIP passes to the club? A night at the Sheraton? You name it, you’ve got it.’ ‘Actually, I.
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